Posted by Debbie Hill, deborahhillcounselor.com
The world of social work and psychology are always doing research and trying new approaches to help individuals and the world survive, thrive and bloom. These processes come in waves and the most current wave is in the area of Happiness or Positive Psychology. Trainings and new book offers arrive in my mailbox almost daily on understanding, using and living in the realm of happiness.
I thought I’d share the information I’m getting. Some of this is, in my opinion, common scene. Other pieces of information, on the surface, may appear new, but with reflection I think you will find you knew this all along. Here is the information:
- Happiness is considered 50% genetic, 40% within our power to achieve through activities and positive thinking, and 10% environmental (we experience something that brings us joy, laughter and pleases us).
2. Stay connected to people, places and activities that bring you positive energy appreciate and validate you.
3. Realize that everyone has problems. The key is the mind set: problems are temporary and solvable.
4. If you can’t get out of a bad situation, change your attitude. Play positive and uplifting thoughts, memories in your head. Listen to music you like. Be involved in activities that offset the situation. There are great stories from POWs using this technique to survive in captivity.
5. Stop focusing on what could have been, what should be or should have been. Stop trying to escape your problems and meet them face on.
6. Express your needs and concerns positively and take ownership of them. An example: When you forget to pick me up, I feel abandoned. Instead of I’m pissed at you for forgetting to pick me up or how dare you forget to pick me up.
7. In relationships, focus on WE instead of ME. Always ask – Will what I am about to do or say bring our relationship closer or pull us further apart?
8. Every morning, stop before starting your day and be grateful for what you have. Name them in your head. Your house, inside climate control, your car, family, food, clothing, fresh water, a job…
9. Acceptance, that you are not perfect and neither is anyone else. Have compassion toward yourself and patience and acceptance toward others. (This does not mean you have to agree with their behaviors or choices. It is honoring them as a fellow human being trying to make it).
10. Remember you can’t read other’s minds; you don’t need to judge their actions or take them personally. Example: He didn’t accept my idea. I know he’s out to get me and this is part of his plan to make me look like a fool. I’ll show him.
Give these a thought or two. My wish to you this day; may this St. Patrick’s Day bring you a renewed sense of happiness.