Everyone at some point in their lives dreams about what could have been or should have been. They look back upon their life and say things like, how in the hell did I get here and with these people?
The answer is simple to say, but hard to accept. For the most part, they chose the elements of their life that brought them to where they are currently. (This is not to state catastrophes and events thrust onto someone are chosen by the victim! No, no, no, but everyone has choices concerning the aftermath of such events. That’s a different topic.)
Why do we make the choices we do? We think it’s in our best interest at the time, that’s why. The problem arises when we make choices without examining what truly is in our best interest. Many of us wander through life, dreaming, but never taking ourselves seriously enough to invest time into evaluating our choices with the life we really want. Then one day, we turn around and wonder how we got where we are and why do we feel so miserable.
As we grow, we develop a picture of what our perfect world would look like. Then, hopefully, we spend our lives making choices to get us as close to that perfect world as possible. We do this because when our real world closely aligns with our internal, ideal world, (quality world) we feel good.
So, okay, here you are in a relationship that does not match your ideal world. You work in a job that is so far off base from your interests, talents and desires that you hate getting up in the morning. You look at yourself in the mirror and say, who is that person looking back at me? Now what?
Step one: Do you know what your ideal life is? If not, start figuring it out. Play with the idea of having a magic wand and there are no limitations. Forget the idea of, why do this, I can’t accomplish this anyway. Just do it.
Step two: What does this ideal world say about you? Do you see patterns? Do your dreams show you feeling powerful, more accepted, more creative? This is important because while you may not be able to get your exact ideal life, you can find good substitutions to get those same needs and wants met. Let’s say, you want to be a surgeon, but you don’t have the education or time for medical school. You realize you want to be a surgeon so you can help others in the field of medicine. Become a phlebotomist, a Red Cross volunteer or first aid officer at your company.
Step three: Look at the choices you are making in your life. Do they line up with getting closer to your ideal world? Why or why not? Identify the areas in your life or choices you are making that push you further from your ideal life.
Step four: Get more information about other choices you could be making. Talk to people who appear to have similar ideal lives. Read books and cruise the internet for more information. The more information you have about what you want, the easier it is take steps to make it happen.
Step five: Set goals for yourself. Remember not all goals are external. For example, today, instead of dreaming I was married to Johnny Depp and being pissed at my spouse, I’ m going to find out what qualities in Johnny Depp I admire and see how my spouse lines up. Or, deciding – my spouse has great qualities and my ideas about Johnny Depp are based on fantasy and not reality. I really wasn’t that crazy when I married my spouse. He’s pretty special. These are internal choice changes.
An external choice change might be, my spouse ridicules me, threatens me and I don’t want or need to live like this. I’m going to investigate what it takes to get a divorce or what is in my community to help people like me.
Think of goals as the set points. They are your rudders helping you steer through life.
Step six: Evaluate! Evaluate!
What is it you really want?
What are you doing to get it?
Is it working? Why or why not?
What can I do different?
Set goals and do it!
No one has to spend their lives sitting in a rut. We create the ruts and put ourselves there. Choose to get up and wish upon a star. You have what it takes. Just do it.
I have spent a good portion of my life trying to off-set the dumb blonde jokes and stereotypes. Only to finally arrive at a point where I think either it’s me or there is something different about being blonde. I’d like to think it’s just me. Otherwise, I’ll have every other blonde in the world writing me hate mail or telling me I’ve leaped into the dark side – um, make that the brunette side.
Anyway, here is my most recent blonde escapade. I can say two blondes because I’m with hubby who also happens to be blonde (Someone explain to me why blonde jokes and stereotypes only apply to females). In this case…
Two blondes walk into a rental car agency. The male of the species gets a red (according to the tag) Chevy Cruze. I call it terra-cotta. On the Chevy website, it’s called Autumn Metallic. Why is this important? It’s not, but calling the car red bothers the hell out of me and I can’t let it drop. I mean, think about this. You are in a strange place in a rental car and you can’t find it. Someone asks, “well, what color is it?” And you say RED. Look at the picture of the car! Would you go get me THAT CAR?
After sensing hubby’s frustration at my figuring out just the right-color adjective to describe our car (In his defense, I can be a bit obsessive at times and it was about midnight after a long flight), I decided to plug my phone into the car jack to recharge.
This car has a combination computer system in the dashboard that does a number of things. None of which is clear and there are no instructions.
Hubby says, “Find something on the radio. Looks like, it’s got one of those satellite radio features. You might find some station you really like. ” Hubby gets out of the car to pump gas and get a couple drinks from the local Kangaroo store (it’s a mini-mart gas station, in no-way selling kangas or roos).
I turned on the radio. There is no way in hell I’m getting any music. It wants to do something. I don’t know what. It asks my permission to do something else. What the hell? Okay, little whatever-you-are-in-the-dashboard-computer-thinky, go for it.
Hubby returns to the car with two sodas and a couple candy bars. “Did you find something?”
“Oh well. I guess we’ll just have to figure it out tomorrow when we are less tired.”
All of the sudden the whatever-you-are-in-the-dashboard-computer-thinky comes to life and starts playing the song from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. You know the one that goes, Yo, ho, Yo, ho, a pirate’s life for me…. Now we both think that is pretty awesome. Here we are in Disney country and the radio somehow picked up some Disney song.
I’m listening and thinking this is really remarkable. I’ve never heard the Yo Ho song on the radio and Johnny Depp is doing the singing! Oh my g-d! Johnny Depp released his version of the Yo Ho song! How did I, a member of just about every Disney blog and web site out there and fan of Johnny Depp miss that? Sh-t! Well, I now know it exists.
Hubby and I laugh about that and sing a bar or two. Tomorrow we are going to make a pit stop at Disney and we always ride Pirates and Haunted mansion – we have season tickets. The song ends.
The next song is, This is Halloween, from the movie Nightmare Before Christmas by Disney and Tim Burton and the music by Danny Elfman. I’ve never heard this song on the radio either! I love Nightmare Before Christmas! I love Disney! I think Tim Burton is a creative genius! I love the movie soundtracks of Danny Elfman! I can’t believe this!
I turn to hubby and say, “I can’t believe this! It’s almost like they know I’m coming!”
And he says, “I know. It’s really odd. Did you program the songs you wanted?”
“Are you sure, because I’ve never heard that song on the radio.”
“Absolutely sure! This is fantastic! I feel like we entered the Twilight Zone!”
We start singing along. Yes, we know the words to, This is Halloween. Please don’t judge us. I’m sure if you dig deep enough you will find something YOU do that others might find … odd.
The song ends and I eagerly await the next song. What could the geniuses at Disney know I want to hear next?
The next is some ditty with a rumba-kindda sound to it. I don’t like it, neither does hubby. It does not last long so that’s okay. In fact, it’s the shortest song I’ve ever heard.
The next song is just as odd. It’s the sound of beeps and whirls and nothing else. It’s also extremely short. The one after that is … the sound of a telephone ringing.
Hubby says, “Those are your ring tones! The radio is playing all your ring tones! How does it know your ringtones? Why is it playing your ringtones? Where did you plug your phone?”
Okay, so the little whatever-you-are-in-the-dashboard-computer-thinky had synced with my phone. There was no Disney fairy at some radio station reading my mind and sending me songs of my fancy. Johnny Depp was not singing the Yo Ho song. It was an impersonator on some ring-tone site I paid ninety-nine cents to download a while back. In fact, it’s my main ring-tone. I thought it sounded really familiar. The, This is Halloween, song is my ring-tone for when Hubby calls. He loves making up new words to the song to make me laugh. So, it’s his song.
This concludes the hap-hazard tale of two blondes walking into a rental car agency.