Monthly Archives: December 2013
Posted by Debbie Hill, deborahhillcounselor.com
“I’m running late again and I’m worried I’ll loose my job.”
“I’m so worried about Jim’s health, I just can’t eat.”
Do those statements sound familiar? We all worry from time to time, but too much worry is detrimental to our emotional and physical well being.
Expert worriers are a working exercise in high blood pressure, gastro-intestinal disorders, and skin problems. They frequently have headaches, insomnia, overall weakness and year round flue like symptoms. They complain of not being able to concentrate and short term memory. For many, anxiety and depression are alternating modes of feeling. Dentists can tell the chronic worrier by the grind patterns on their teeth.
The art of worrying is a catch twenty-two. The worrier not only has the worries which started this whole cycle. Now, they have to worry about what’s wrong with them. It doesn’t have to be that way. Understanding the nature of worry is the first step in squashing the worry wart and living a healthier, happier life.
Worry is a Poor Attempt at Control and Thought Telepathy
When a person worries, they are in-effect saying, “If I think hard enough I can: a). prevent a bad thing from happening; b). make a desired thing happen; c). force someone to do or not do something; d). change history or the future; e). not have to deal with consequences.
“While my husband was in surgery I sat in the waiting room worrying the whole time.”
What was this woman hoping to gain by her worrying? Was she trying to ensure that the physician did his job right? Maybe she was trying to stop her husband from feeling any discomfort or pain. Then there are the consequences. Perhaps she was trying to force her husband to live. If he died, maybe she would be left with three kids, a mortgage, and grief.
So, she worries. She tries to focus all her energy to change things she has no control over. She could have chosen to get a cup of coffee or talk with a friend instead of worry. Either way, her husband’s surgery and her life would have turned out the same. Only, she would have had more energy to deal with her husband’s recuperation.
Worry, is Self Induced Stress
Worry is another word for internal or self induced stress. Individuals are plagued every day with environmental stresses – deadlines, aggravating people, crime. These are stresses outside the person’s locus of control. Worry, however, is an internal process with in the person’s control.
“I’m worried I won’t get this paper done in time.”
This person has an environmental stress of a deadline. Her body will respond to this stress by preparing to fight to meet the challenge. Will worry help push her forward to its timely conclusion? The answer is no. Her motivation will push her forward. The energy she will use to worry will distract her and probably give her a headache and panic or anxiety symptoms. Worrying doesn’t help but impede her efforts. If she doesn’t make the deadline, worry will not change the consequences. Deciding to worry places the body at red alert – or preparing for a threat which does not exist.
When a person worries their body is tricked into thinking there is an attack going on. It wants to run or fight the object of the pending attack. In order to do this, the brain signals the body, “Red Alert! All Battle Stations!” All muscles tense and blood flow is restricted to the skin. Perspiration increases, blood clotting mechanisms are activated and white blood cell count goes up to fight infections. The person’s heart rate increases, as does their respiration rate. Their digestion decreases and stomach acid increases. The mouth becomes dry. The liver produces extra sugar and there is an increase in fatty acids and cholesterol. Finally, the pupils dilate. The body system is ready for battle – only there is no battle.
The person who chronically worries never comes off Red Alert. They are like the soldier on the front line, never getting a replacement – for years!
AMA Towing and Repair Service
A human body was never intended to work at red alert for long periods of time. Just like a car pushed beyond its normal capacity, it breaks down.
A major contributing cause of lifelong ailments and multiple major body system failures is stress. People literally worry themselves to death. Doctor’s offices and hospital beds all over the country are filled with stressed-out people who feel they need to use their mental telepathy to control life.
“I need to relax. My doctor tells me it’s all in my head.”
It is in your head if you’re a chronic worrier. That’s not to say your body hasn’t broke down, that you are not in legitimate pain or discomfort. It means that you have pushed the red alert button so long (maybe it’s even stuck) that the system is failing – long over loaded. Time to call the AMA towing and repair service; only sometimes, it’s too late.
Super Worrier to the Rescue
“If you love someone, truly care, you worry about them.”
Translation: if you love someone, you work very hard telepathically to control the environment around and with-in them. In this way the worrier feels they can protect their loved one and themselves from harm.
Of course, if you love someone you don’t want them harmed in any way. That’s very different from sitting around trying to mentally force them from harm. Again, this is like the woman in the hospital waiting for her husband’s surgery. If harm befell a loved one, the worrier would have to deal with unknown consequences. The unknown can be a scary place, better put on your super hero cape and worry it away. That’s effective – right? No!
The Little Wart that Could
Did you hear of the little boy who looked at his toe and found a little wart?
His mom said, “Oh it will be okay.” Only it got bigger.
His dad said, “It’s not that big.” And then it got so big, they couldn’t find the little boy anymore. He had been consumed by his wart.
The term “worry wart” has a basis in logic. It’s like that little boy and his viral wart. If left unchecked worry grows and consumes – zapping energy. It changes the physiology and psychology of the person the worry wart belongs to. Don’t become consumed by the worry wart. It’s never too late to squash the wart dead!
Eliminate the Worry Wart!
“I have always worried. My mother worried, it’s genetic.”
Bull, it’s learned and you can unlearn it in several steps.
Step one: Realize what worry is – an attempt to telepathically control something.
Step two: Almost no one has the ability to telepathically control others and the environment. (There are a few folk who claim a small degree of this ability. They frequent talk shows and are studies at institutes.)
Step three: Recognize when you are worried.
Step four: Accept that there are many things in life that you can’t control. You can survive without having that control.
Step five: Turn worry into work.
Recognize Your Body’s Signals
We have already discussed step one. Step two is usually considered common sense. Step three is not as difficult as it sounds.
Every person has a sub-routine they engage as they enter worry mode. The red alert concept: Ships starts at green and advance to yellow alert before the full blown red.
Listen to your thinking. Listen and feel your body’s reactions when stressed by worry. Are you tense? Are your hands perspiring? Are you draped in a sense of doom? Stop right there!
Label it – “I’m worried about something.” What is it? think about it. Sometimes it is obvious, sometimes not. Have it figured out? Go for it! Ask yourself. Is this something I can change by dwelling on it, running possible scenarios about it, or going on red alert? The answer is probably going to be no. Move to step four.
Letting Go of Control
It’s hard to accept that we have very little control in life. The world revolves in space. Billions upon billions of people make decisions every second. None of this involves us. Yet, it may affect us. Life is just that way – mainly uncontrollable. Granted, there are many things in our lives we can control. Only we don’t use worry to do that. We use motivation and action based on facts and feelings. Turn toward step five.
Worry into Work
The energy expended in worry can be much better utilized. Prayer is an excellent way for some people to deal with worry.
Prayer is not worry. Prayer is asking the aid of a supreme being to watch over and protect. In essence, it is giving the job of telepathic control to someone who probably has a better chance of making it work. Prayer is very up lifting and there is ample evidence to show its overall positive effects.
For though who are not comfortable with prayer, there are numerous other very effective ways do deal with worry. Becoming active, both physically and mentally are wonderful worry to work ethic.
Change the Channel
When you realize you are stuck in a worry mode – literally change your channel. Become involved in a new activity or change your environment. If watching TV get up and get a drink of water. If in the office, get up and talk to a co-worker. Enjoy a nice walk. Any activity or change which allows the re-directing of thinking, change your channel, keeps worry in check. It’s hard to worry when you keep occupied.
Focus Your Beam
Have you ever noticed how engrossed you can get building or making something or doing a puzzle? Activities like thee require focused attention. When the worry wart starts to grow consider baking a cake from scratch or building a shelf, or playing a musical instrument. Hobbies are a wonderful way to focus your mental beams. When was the last time you engaged in a hobby? If you don’t think you have any hobbies, find one. There are thousand to choose from animation to zincography (the art of engraving designs in zinc). Many require little monetary out-put or time to be effective and enjoyable. I guarantee there is at least one hobby out there for everyone.
Shake your Body
Physical exercise is another wonderful way to combat worry. (Warning! Make sure you warm up first and if you are ill contact your doctor for advice) Let your muscles work; after all, you have already primed them for fighting action. Exercise does not mean a rowing machine or expensive gym. Dancing, a brisk walk with the dog or favorite person and cleaning the house are all great workouts. An added plus – they are all things you can control without telepathy.
Are you worried about crime? Join a crime coalition or help work on a crime busting bill. Worried about your husband’s surgery? Read, investigate about the procedure and disease. Become an educated consumer. Worried about that paper deadline? Learn time management skills or network to delegate responsibilities. The key is finding the source of your worry and turn it around to be a positive force you can help control!
The Benefits are Limitless
“I wish I had the energy she does. I feel so old.”
She has probably learned more effective ways to utilize her energy. Once you relinquish your need to make changes through telepathy you will also feel freer. Have more energy and some renewed youth. You may even hear your body go, “Ahh.” Go for the green and live a more content, healthier tomorrow.